Dialogue - The Writing Life

You Talkin' to ME? Do's and Don'ts for Writing Dialogue

"Dialogue takes pains to appear to appear totally realistic without being so at all, for it is very much the product of conscious craft." Oakley Hall

You've heard it before: the main job of dialogue is to build characters. As in real life, your characters are revealed by what they do and what they say. Dialogue is one technique used to convince readers that story people exist. Dialogue is where we show our characters arguing, staging a meltdown. When dialogue takes place in a scene, the fictional world blooms and the reader slips into the kitchen, bedroom, office, and becomes convinced that characters breathe, argue, worry and steam. Like all fictional techniques, dialogue is artifice. It is not real speech, but a kind of hybrid: a shorter, smarter, tenser, funnier, more poignant version of how we talk.

But mostly dialogue has many jobs to do:

1.Push the plot forward: "So, it's agreed. We'll meet at midnight at the warehouse and get rid of this problem for good."

2. It individualizes, proves each character is unique: "Whew ha, darlin' you're lookin' sweet as a Georgia peach. Let me smack those juicy lips of yours before I plum lose my mind."

3. It reveals emotions: "I can't. I just can't. Please don't force me. If I even try, I'm admitting that I'm a fraud. Which of course is the truth. Let' face it I am. And a coward." In real life we can look into the eyes of the person talking, notice her clenched fists, frown, or relaxed posture. In fiction, most of the nonverbal cues are missing, so the dialogue has a heavy burden to produce the necessary information.

4. Dialogue contains information: "I know that you still miss dear Margaret. But it's been six months now. You need to pick yourself up. She would not want you to mourn so. Margaret was the kind of woman, who for all her sweetness, had a backbone of pure steel. Now, I think you should honor her memory and pull yourself together. It's what she'd want for you."

5. Most dialogue contains conflict/and or tension: "Well, I'm sure that would a fine idea under ordinary circumstances. But these aren't ordinary circumstances, are they? This is war."

6. Reveal details about the setting. "Could you step a little closer dear? I'm afraid the lighting isn't very strong in here. Some days I feel as I'm living in a mausoleum.

7. Deliver a knockout punch: "If you think you're getting custody of our children, you'd better think again. My lawyer has assured me you don't have the slightest chance. So behave like a grown-up for once in your life and we might be able to work out a visitation schedule. This time we're going to play by my rules."

8. Reveal character traits, repeated behaviors, gestures, or mannerisms: "You know, every time you play with your hair that way, I know that you're nervous."

Here are a few errors to avoid:

Too pompous (if your character is an ordinary person): "Richard, I do not wish Reginald to formulate the plans for the picnic. Please consult Mathilda in her stead as to the details, for we shall be anticipating satisfactory weather. " Instead, use contractions, use regional or age-related expressions, or perhaps slang.
Telling a character information he or she already knows for the sake of the story: "As you know Sally, ever since Victor left you, your life has been an emotional roller coaster. It's no wonder that you robbed that convenience store, then ran off with the store manager. It's a good thing that the police caught up with you in Reno, because let's face it, he was too young for you and your children need a mother. And thank goodness for Prozac, it saved your life…." The point here is to never create dialogue that strictly gives information-it will come off as artificial.
Too clipped: Beware of characters who sound like an Englishman after dental surgery. ("Precisely. I say. Exactly. Just so." While dialogue is necessarily concise, it contains a bit of the breath, pauses, sloppiness, and silliness of real life.
Too much like a speech or soliloquy. "Let us start at the beginning, shall we? First of all, life is very long and very sweet so we must all savor every moment. Then we must remember at all times to do our best. And third, dear friends, we must all strive for happiness. For although happiness is an elusive little butterfly, it still exists in every flower, in every spring time…."
All-purpose types. This happens when your characters sound like you've constructed them from a Friday night television line-up. Toss out your stereotypes for cops, detectives, teenagers, farmers, truck drivers and give them words so that we not only hear them, but we can also smell their cheap after shave, sour breath, the manure clinging to pant cuffs and work boots, cigarette smoke hanging on the clothes. F-r-e-s-h is how you should spell stock characters.
Dialect overkill-a little dialect goes a long way. Enough said. If you don't believe me, read Huck Finn and admit that it's difficult to slip into the voices of Twain's characters.

Realism overload. Dialogue will never sound as if we've taped it. Forget trying to re-create speech word-by-word. Hit the high notes, insert emotions, and focus on the most suspenseful or important points the dialogue is covering. Finally, as if dialogue isn't hard enough, show the effect the exchange is having on the characters involved. Is he growing angry? Retreating? Plotting revenge? Wondering about the veracity of the speaker?