Driving an Editor Crazy

"There is a loneliness that can be rocked. Arms crossed, knees drawn up; holding, holding on, this motion, unlike a ship's, smoothes and contains the rocker. It's an inside kind-wrapped tight like skin. Then there is a loneliness that roams. No rocking can hold it down. It is alive, on its own. A dry and spreading thing that makes the sound of one's own feet going seem to come from a far-off place." --Toni Morrison, Beloved

Recently I was speaking at a writer's conference and began with a reminder to the assembled writers. "Editors," I said, "Are word people." My talk was based on a series of tips to keep them out of the rejection pile. I hoped my first words would linger, and as my gaze traveled around the hall, my heart lifted as I noticed people jotting down this important dictum.

Because editors ARE word people and a writer must never forget this. We love the sight of words marching across the page; the heft of a book in our hands; the sound of language; the thrill of stories tickling our senses; and the joy of discovering a story so captivating that it steals our sleep, haunts our thoughts, and raises our standards.

And because we love words, we're aware of how they should look and sound in a sentence. And because we are word people, if we read your first paragraph and realize that you cannot write clean and lovely sentences, we'll slip your manuscript onto that dreaded rejection pile. Because if you cannot write a sentence, we cannot trust you to write a story, an essay, a book. Here is a list of errors that will toss your manuscript from an editor's desk so fast it will shiver your soul:

First, please understand that if your manuscript looks like it was sent by an amateur, it will likely be ignored. If for some reason, an editor is forced to read your flawed manuscript, your formatting mistakes will cast a shadow over the content. My two pet peeves when I was a full-time editor were writers who did not double space, the second, those who did not number their pages. Of course, these same writers usually did not add a slug line at the top of the page identifying their name or the book title. And did I ever drop these unnumbered drafts and was forced to spend time piecing together the orphaned pages like a puzzle? Of course. Did I curse the careless writers who wrote them? Well, you figure it out.

So before we can talk about style, let's remember not to send dog-eared copies. Don't print on pink paper in a font so small it looks like a line of ant droppings. Find a good resource on manuscript submission and follow the instructions to the letter.* Don't assume that rules about right unjustified mean everyone but you. Don't send a manuscript to an editor who has requested a synopsis. Follow the rules.

As for style, after reading the first few sentences, an editor decides if you're a wimp or a wizard, as Constance Hale suggested in her chapter about verbs in Sin and Syntax.

My editor's antennae always spots excess modifiers and clutter the "leeches that suck at the pond of prose sucking the blood of words " as William Zinnser claimed. If your writing is smothered under adverbs and adjectives, an editor notices, mistrusts you, will likely be bored by what you've written. Writing in the passive voice also dooms you to wimpdom. No error stands out with such deadly force because it drains the vitality from sentences.

Cluttering your sentences with your extra words, phrases, and prepositional phrases. The worst clutter comes from intensifiers and qualifiers. Here is a partial list to avoid: very, quite, really, absolutely, positively, probably, mostly, mainly, generally, usually, ordinarily, sort of, kind of, pretty much, a little, a bit.

Sentence sameness will lull an editor to sleep. Sameness creeps in when sentences all follow noun-verb-object structure or contain the same number of words.

Understand emphasis. Because the end of a sentence or paragraph holds the most clout, place the emphatic words or ideas at the end. Avoid ending sentences with she said, he said or their ilk. Example:

Fifty people died the night of that terrible storm. The night of the terrible storm, fifty people died.

Vague writing drives editors crazy. Instead of writing about a "very large crowd," write that the crowd numbered 50 thousand. Instead of mentioning that your character is tall, write that he's six-foot-seven. Instead of tall buildings or little houses write about skyscrapers and cottages. Instead of dogs and flowers, write about poodles and gardenias.

Flowery prose is another deadly mistake. Write the way most of us talk. Example:

I leaned over to kiss the rosy cheek of my beloved, my darling, and as I did so, my heart soared to such rapturous heights, I almost swooned. Enough said.

Avoid using abstract terms like judgment, freedom, truth, wisdom, injustice or reality to describe. Instead, rely on concrete and tactile details. An old saying suggests, don't tell me about the horrors of war, instead show me the child's shoe abandoned by the side of the road. More small details that editor's notice:

(Unless you are Toni Morrison) Beginning sentences with There is, There was. It forces the sentence into a passive construction.

Choosing wimpy verbs-walked, put, get, got, went, leave, left, turned, ran, run. Another big mistake is to pairing a wimpy verb with an adverb to bolster it. Example:

He walked slowly towards the teacher. Instead, He trudged towards the teacher.

Relying on linking verbs-would, could, should, shall, will, do, did, have, had, can, must, was, were--instead of active verbs.

Relying on 'which' clauses and 'who' clauses to describe. Example:

The party, which was attended by the whole family, was great fun. Alice, who everyone knows is a flirt, came with two men.

Our extended family attended the party and had a great time. Alice, a notorious flirt, arrived with two men.

Combining be, been, being, was, were, is, am, are and their cousins with an adjective. For example:

She was lonely as she thought back to her years with Ted. Or, He was frustrated as he remembered his meeting with Mr. O'Toole.

Referring to mind, thoughts, mentally, etc. to indicate a person is thinking. Readers can understand that thinking is implied without being told. Examples:

I searched my mind for a memory of the last time I saw Dave. Ann's thoughts raced at the possibilities offered by the prize.

Verbing-the practice of creating verbs from nouns such as gifting, journaling, parenting, impacting, strategizing, prioritizing, birthing, birding. This is jargon in its silliest guise.

A lack of transitions creates prose where the ideas stand alone like wall flowers at a junior high dance. Make certain that your ideas flow by adding the bridges necessary to link them. Insert: later, meanwhile, consequently, after, yet, therefore, next, additionally, thus, first, finally, and other transitions to lead your reader through your concepts.

Finally, use white space. Don't write long paragraphs or endless blocks of prose. Editors long for white space, so limit most paragraphs to five or six sentences.

*Formatting & Submitting Your Manuscript by Jack & Glenda Neff, Don Prues and editors of Writer's Market is one of the best resources for preparing and presenting your writing.